Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Category: Double drabble. Gen. Humor. Team.
Season: Four (set shortly after Upgrades).
Spoilers: Upgrades – very mild.
Summary: Darwin said we all evolved from monkeys. If this theory is accurate (and really who am I to say?), does the opposite work, going the other way? If it does I wanna devolve back to monkey. (With my thanks to The Arrogant Worms for this summary and the song from whence it came.)
Note: Written for a random word prompt of: Chimpanzee.
General George Hammond sighed and rubbed his hand across his brow, massaging his temples as he did so.
How does the same thing happen to the same team twice? he thought. Inside of six months at that?
He didn’t know the answer, but it felt like it was just to torture him.
After all, what other reason could the universe have for turning his flagship team into a gang of juvenile delinquents? Again?
“They look like a bunch of chimpanzees, don’t they, sir?” said a scientist on Hammond’s right.
George nodded. SG-1 were, in fact, jumping around the room and generally acting like the worst-behaved six-year-olds ever. The worse-behaved six-year-olds ever who were high on cocaine.
It wasn’t pretty.
Suddenly, a spitball hit him in the chest, and Hammond looked up to see Daniel Jackson, of all people, cackling madly about it.
Hammond sighed again and looked to the doctors and scientists in the room.
“Find a cure,” he commanded. “And make it fast, before someone either kills themselves or gets murdered for their stupidity.”
Then he turned to leave, but before going, he addressed the scientist who had spoken.
“And for the record? I’d taken actual chimpanzees any day.”