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New Fic: Justice is Served

Justice is Served
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Rated: G
Category: Gen, Humor. Team.
Season: Early Two.
Spoilers: References “Within the Serpent’s Grasp.”
Summary: Sometimes justice is served with a gun. Other times, a fork does the job.
Word Count: 1061.
Note: Written for the 2012 Ancient Obsessions Advent Prompt: Pie. Not a holiday fic, though.


Jack grimaced as he bit into the protein bar in his hand.

“You know,” he said, “you’d think you’d get used to eating this crap, but you never do.”

On the other side of their small campsite, Sam mutely nodded her agreement, her own mouth full of dry granola, just as Daniel emerged from his tent.

“Yeah,” said Daniel, “I’d kill for a pizza right about now.”

Sam groaned. “Oh, that’s just not nice, Daniel.

Jack tossed a pebble in Daniel’s direction. “Yeah, no talking about pizza right now. It’s bad enough we’re stuck here babysitting those bozos without you bringing up real food.”

Daniel sighed. “Okay, first off, those bozos are geologists, and they’re doing work that might actually come in handy in our fight against the Goa’uld. Second, sorry. It just sounded good.”

“That it does,” agreed Sam, tossing half of her granola bar back into her pack and making a sour face at it.

Jack rolled his eyes, clearly dismissing Daniel’s defense of the scientists, but then sighed.

“Yeah, since you brought it up, no harm in agreeing,” he said. “How ‘bout we hit up Longo’s when we get back?”

“Deal,” answered Daniel and Sam in unison.

Suddenly, a deep voice entered the conversation as Teal’c appeared from the woods surrounding the camp.

“What is this ‘pizza’ you speak of?”

Jack, Sam, and Daniel stared at Teal’c for a full twenty seconds before Sam blinked and spoke.

“You mean you’ve never had pizza, Teal’c?”

Teal’c shook his head. “I do not believe so, Captain Carter.”

“Wait a second,” said Daniel. “You’ve lived on Earth for almost a year. In the SGC, even. And you’ve never had pizza?”

“As I said, Daniel Jackson, I do not believe so,”  answered Teal’c.

Daniel stared at Jack. “Jack? Um…”

“Yeah,” said Jack. “I’m not sure how that could have happened, either. Teal’c, are you sure you’ve never had it?”

“Perhaps if you describe it to me, I will be more certain,” said Teal’c.

Sam made a gesture with her hands, indicating a large, round object. “It’s a big, round, flat, um…”

Sam stopped, clearly not sure what else to say, and Daniel picked up the description.

“It’s got a crust on the bottom, and then there’s cheese and vegetables, like onions and peppers and mushrooms and…”

Jack interrupted. “And meat. Lots of meat.”

Daniel shot Jack an annoyed look and continued on. “And you bake it all together. There’s sauce, too. Usually tomato. And you bake it until it’s all warm and gooey and, oh…why am I doing this to myself?”

He flopped backwards on the ground, one hand on his stomach, clearly having just made his craving a lot worse, but he apparently accomplished his goal, because Teal’c nodded.

“I believe I know what you mean. It is a Tintakauri.”

For the second time in only a few minutes, the rest of SG-1 stared at Teal’c. This time, he broke the silence himself by continuing.

“A traditional Jaffa dish made in a shallow pan with bread, meat, spices, and vegetables. The bread forms the bottom of the dish and the other ingredients sit atop it. It is quite delicious. I have often lamented the lack of such a thing on Earth.”

Daniel blinked slowly. “I actually think we’ve got that covered, Teal’c.”

“I am most looking forward to deciding that for myself, Daniel Jackson.”

“So, yeah. Longo’s it is, then?” asked Jack.

“Definitely,” said Sam, as Daniel nodded his agreement as well.

 Teal inclined his head toward Jack. “I also concur. I shall try this dish of yours.”

Jack clapped his hands together. “Good! Now that that’s settled, can we stop talking about it until we get off this rock and back home?”

“Indeed,” said Teal’c. “Though I wonder if this establishment also serves Tinkolomin?”

“What?” asked Jack.

“A similar dish, but made only with fruits. And usually there is a second layer of crust over the top of it.”

 “Pie!” exclaimed Daniel. “I think he means pie!”

Teal’c raised one eyebrow at Daniel. “That seems far too simple a word for the dish I mean, Doctor Jackson.”

Sam grinned. “Yeah, but I think he’s right. It does sound like pie.”

Teal’c seemed about to argue his case further when Jack spoke. “Hey, T?”

“Yes, O’Neill?”

“Remember our conversation about zats?”

Teal’c nodded. “Indeed. I assume you mean the one in which you refused to call them by their proper name of Zat’nik’tel?”

Jack grinned. “That’s the one.”

A beat of silence followed Jack’s words. Then Teal’c nodded, conceding Jack’s point. “Pie it is then.”

Sam laughed, and the conversation looked to be over, but then Daniel raised one finger in the air. “Actually,” he said, “that reference is more appropriate than you probably realize. One, pizza is a form of pie, and pie is a shortened word itself. It comes from piehus, meaning bakery, and…”

Three sets of eyes showing the same exasperated and slightly leery expression met Daniel’s words, and he trailed off.

“You know what? Never mind,” he said, with a dismissive hand gesture. “Pie works just fine.”

At Daniel’s self-censure, Sam smirked, Jack looked relived, and Teal’c nodded slightly.

Because the fact was that pie did work just fine. It took the team almost two weeks to prove that point, but prove it they did when they took Teal’c to their favorite pizza joint and he declared the pizza nearly as good as the Tintakauri of Chulak and the pie he had for desert actually superior to Tinkolomin.

Of course, Daniel insisted on finishing his etymology talk then, as well as discussing the history of pizza, but no one minded. In fact, SG-1 was in fine spirits, and even a too-long dissertation by their resident archeologist couldn’t dampen their spirits.

After all, a wrong was righted in the universe that day. A wrong that had nothing to do with alien threats, energy sources, or cutting-edge weapons, but was nonetheless important to the team. And the fact that it was pretty easy to fix permanently yet still involved just enough arguing with the powers that be to annoy those powers? Well, that was just a bonus as far as SG-1 was concerned.

After all, who lives on Earth for a year and doesn’t get any pizza?

Not their Jaffa. Not if they had anything to say about it.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 5th, 2012 09:49 am (UTC)
Dawww, this is awesome. So much teamy goodness and pizza..

Also, now I want pizza. Good thing that's what were intending to have tonight (along with six inch subs; I got a buy one get one free coupon *grin*). :)
Dec. 5th, 2012 10:05 am (UTC)
Thanks! Teamy goodness is always a good thing! :)
Dec. 5th, 2012 02:39 pm (UTC)
Yes!! :) Loved it!
Dec. 5th, 2012 06:13 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Dec. 5th, 2012 09:53 pm (UTC)
For a moment I thought when Teal'c said the Jaffa word, that he would say "I know how to make it" and start doing so immediately ;)
Dec. 6th, 2012 03:17 am (UTC)
Valid point. Part of me thinks T can cook. The other part, thought, thinks his life might not have allowed much time for that, being raised up as a warrior and all that. Hm...must think on that one.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


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