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New Fic: Stranger Than Fiction

Stranger Than Fiction
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Rated: G
Category: Humor. Daniel POV, featuring Sam and Vala.
Season: Ten. Takes place shortly after Memento Mori. Could be an episode-insert for Family Ties or stand all on its own.
Spoilers: Upgrades, general series knowledge.
Summary: Daniel overhears something that truly surprises him.
Word Count: 433
Note: Written for the 2011 Ancient Obsessions December 8 Advent Prompt: Santa’s List.


Truth is, as they say, stranger than fiction.

My life is indisputable proof of that, but while I’ve experienced things that even now make my head spin, nothing could have prepared me for this.

I hear their voices long before I reach the door to Sam’s lab.

“I don’t know,” says Vala’s distinctive voice. “Technically, I should stay on base.”

“Whatever,” answered Sam. “I’ll chaperone you.”

I stop outside the door, knowing I shouldn’t eavesdrop but too curious not to.  Soon, I hear Vala again.

“I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble.”

Sam chuckles.

“Oh, please,” she says. “Trouble is when you disobey direct orders to sneak off base for steak, cause a bar fight, get caught and reprimanded, then go rogue again to take out a Goa’uld base. And even that worked out okay, so I think we can risk a simple shopping trip.”

Well, I can’t argue with that, but apparently Vala can.

“I don’t know, Sam… After last time…”

Her voice is hesitant, and Sam lets out the tiniest huff before answering.

“We’ll probably be back before anyone notices we’re gone. Besides, it’s Christmas. Didn’t you tell me you wanted to get a few gifts?”

“Well,  yes,” answers Vala, still hesitant, and I wonder when she decided to celebrate Earth holidays. I don’t have time to wonder long, though, before Sam plays her trump card.

“I found a new shoe place,” she says, wheedling.

I can almost hear Vala’s resolve faltering from the hallway. “Really?”

“Yep. And they’ve got these adorable boots that I think would look really good on you.”

A moment of silence passes, then Vala answers just as I expected her to. This time, I can hear the wicked grin that surely is on her face in her voice.

“I’m in.”

Sam’s voice contains that same evil mirth as she answers. “Sweet.”

Next thing I know, I’m hightailing it around the nearest corner so they won’t know I was there as both Sam and Vala leave the lab, bags in hand and  purpose in their step.

Once they’re gone, I creep out from my hiding place and shake my head in bewilderment. Never in a million years would I have expected to hear Sam Carter talk Vala Mal Doran into mischief.

And while I’m not sure that’s enough to switch their places on Santa’s famous list, I sure hope the big guy is watching, because surely this is a newsworthy day.
Sam naughty?

Vala nice?

If I hadn’t heard it myself, I’d have never believed it, but I swear it’s the truth.

Stranger than fiction indeed.


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