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New Fic: Most Useful Indeed

Most Useful Indeed
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Rated: PG
Category: Humor, Team. Maybe, possibly, perhaps a bit of crack.
Season: Any.
Spoilers: None, though knowledge of PanGalactic GargleBlasters will help.
Summary: Just a little mostly harmless fun on an alien planet.
Word Count: 817
Note: This one’s for one of my favorite holidays. Happy Towel Day, folks!


As the last embers of the campfire died down, Daniel Jackson closed his book and sighed.

As planets went, P3X-918 wasn’t a bad way to spend an evening. Tall trees surrounded the clearing where Daniel sat on his pack, and if he hadn’t known better, he would have sworn he was on Earth, camping in an old forest full of majestic beauty. The peace of the setting and the fact that for the moment no one was trying to kill him made Daniel as relaxed as he’d been in ages.

He sighed again, seriously contemplating turning in early. Just as he was about to climb into his tent, however, the deep tones of Teal’c’s voice stopped him.

“Daniel Jackson.”

Daniel turned and faced the Jaffa, who carefully entered the clearing from Daniel’s right. “Yes, Teal’c?”

“Do you remember the conversation we had last week in the cafeteria?”

Daniel blinked in confusion. He was put off by the randomness of the question and also the fact that Teal’c was asking it while he was supposed to be on first watch. Both behaviors were not exactly in character for Teal’c.

“Um… maybe?” stammered Daniel. “Which one?”

“The one in which you explained the term ‘hoopy frood’ to me.”

“Oh, yeah,” said Daniel. “I remember that. Why?”

Teal’c leaned in close to Daniel and spoke softly. “Because I have since read the book you recommended, and I believe I have proven one of the hypotheses of the text.”

Daniel blinked again. This was becoming even stranger. “Oh?”


“Which one?”

“The one concerning towels,” explained Teal’c.

At that moment, Jack O’Neill’s shout broke the quiet of the evening, and Teal’c disappeared into the night.


A second later, Jack barged into the clearing from the left, hair damp and sticking up a thousand directions. He was naked save for a simple white towel wrapped around his waist. His bare feet were muddy and bits of foliage clung to his chest. He clutched the towel together with one hand and glared at Daniel.

“Okay, Daniel. Spill it. Where are my clothes?”

Daniel gaped at Jack. “I was just wondering the same thing.”

“I took them off for a minute, and… you really didn’t take them?”

“Why would I take your clothes? I think the better question is why would you take them off?”

Jack rolled his eyes and gave an exaggerated sigh. “I went swimming, okay?”

“You went swimming? I thought you were taking a walk?”

“I was taking a walk,” said Jack. “Then I went swimming in the river. You know. Swimming? Bathing? Whatever you want to call it?”

“I understand the concept, Jack,” said Daniel.

“And when I came out, my clothes were gone. Are you sure you didn’t take them?”

Daniel shook his head. “Wasn’t me.”

Jack eyed Daniel suspiciously for a moment, then his eyes went wide.

“Where’s Teal’c?’ he demanded.

Daniel glanced over to where Teal’c had been sitting only seconds before for half an instant, then shrugged.

“Haven’t seen him,” he said.

Jack snorted and stepped around Daniel to reach his pack.

After a few minutes of curse-fueled digging, Jack managed to retrieve his spare BDUs from his pack, all the while managing to keep his towel firmly wrapped around his waist.

A moment later, he was dressed. His towel hung from a nearby tree branch.

“Alright,” he said. “Now to find that traitorous Jaffa.”

“Um, Jack?” asked Daniel.


Daniel pointed to Jack’s still bare feet.

Jack grimaced. “Probably not a good idea to go tromping around in the bush like this, huh?”

“Probably not,” agreed Daniel.

“Can I borrow your boots?”

Daniel shook his head. “You know they won’t fit you.”

“They’ll fit well enough.”

Daniel shrugged again. “Alright. Fine. But I don’t want to hear it if you get blisters.”

Jack grinned and snatched Daniel’s boots from next to the fire. He quickly laced them loosely around his feet. He was gone a moment later, and Daniel laughed out loud. He knew he should be concerned about two of his teammates gallivanting around like schoolboys on a strange planet, but since the serenity of P3X-918 seemed to be genuine, he was frankly enjoying their antics too much to care.

He had no idea when Jack and Teal’c would return to camp, but he knew three other things beyond question. One, that he would enjoy telling Sam every detail of the night she’d missed thanks to her temporary assignment with SG-13; two, that no member of SG-1 would mention this little incident in their reports to General Hammond; and three, that while he might have most people fooled, Teal’c had both a sense of humor and a sense of fair play underneath all that machismo.

After all, he’d only taken Jack’s clothes. He hadn’t taken Jack’s towel, and everyone knows a towel really is the most useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 26th, 2010 11:45 am (UTC)
*loves them all, especially Teal'c*

Happy (belated) Towel Day to you too!
May. 26th, 2010 01:11 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
May. 26th, 2010 01:10 pm (UTC)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


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